Nothing is Easy–Believe me

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Nothing is easy. Believe me.

That’s why we hit the snooze button on the alarm clock at least three times before even attempting to maneuver our bodies out of sleepy hollow. And even after the third snooze it’s painful to rise, and this is especially true if you’re waking just for the sake of waking with no agenda to follow.

People of the world like to use the phrase, “The world is a strange place”. However, when I write, “The world is a strange place,” I write it as an understatement.

Has someone ever told you that the most efficient way to suppress an unbreakable craving is to shun the craving, and maybe go to therapy, eat vegetables, get good sleep, hang with people who do you yoga and drink Kombucha? Well, It’s all bullshit. Unless you’re able to break the cycle. People also like to call breaking the cycle breaking the habit, and when you want to break the habit, you must follow a polished-over, holy routine. You must do it for at least 10 days, or something of this sort.

Breaking a habit is especially not easy. But, then again, nothing is easy.

One time I tried to brush my teeth while simultaneously talking to my sister, and the toothpaste began to ooze from the corners of my mouth. I told you, nothing is easy.

And one time I was smoking a cigarette while trying to catch my dog. I took big, long strides after her, wheezing and huffing to catch my breath. I did catch my dog.

But I tell you, it wasn’t easy. Nothing is.

I tried saving my money once, and it seemed every week that I saved a $100, I spent $120. I thought, “That’s some shit”. You see, the problem wasn’t me. I blame capitalism for the Internet, because it hosts e-commerce, and I like to virtually buy shit. They say that people who shop online suffer from social anxiety. I thought these people were trolling me, but it turns out that some truth lies in the saying. I do want these people to fuck off, because I shop online for the best deals.

Don’t you feel stupid for spending your savings when that savings was set aside to get the fuck out and go far away, or buy something dazzling? I do. The last time I wiped my ass with all of my money was when my friends would call me from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m., Monday through Sunday. I shit you not. Ring. Ring. “Where the fuck are you? Come drink!”

Well fuck yeah, I’m coming to drink! Then we’d hang up, and I’d be jiving from left to right, and I’d put on those dark blue Adidas Campus kicks with the pretty three stripes to impress… who? Oh, the two old men in suede vests and the bartender with scene hair. By then I’d be down to my last 20 bucks, and I’d say, “look at you now, you goddamned bootlegged vagabond”—Free, drunk and broke.

What a joke.

But I told you— it’s not easy. In fact— nothing is.

Aylin Sozen 2018 ©

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