If You’re [Still] Rooting for Donald Trump…

Our political ideologies, now more than ever, protrude our values and unabashedly reveal our social etiquette. I’ve put together a list of characteristics, attributes and mannerisms that describe Trump’s supporters to help you identify members of his flock.

If you’re rooting for Donald Trump:

  1. Plain and simple: you have little man syndrome (or little woman syndrome).
  2. Maybe you’re an ethnocentric xenophobe who is entirely clueless when it comes to the customs and cultures of other ethnic groups. Your fear of the “unknown” permeates your whole being and hinders your ability to build friendships with immigrants.
  3. You’re an evangelical Christian who believes that Jesus anointed Trump to “Make America Great Again”, particularly for the rich.
  4. It’s possible that you’re theologically incompetent or lack the ability to read scripture in its true context, but you don’t know this just yet. You spent your entire life in a small town under the mentorship of Christians who can barely write proper English and have no knowledge of science or history. In addition, your pastor has condemned the congregation from reading, researching, or even thinking, because that would just cause you to form a more logical interpretation of his Sunday sermons.
  5. You’re a constituent of the middle class or possibly sit right above the poverty threshold, but you still exalt Trump like a holy prophet.
  6. When it comes to political comprehension or intelligence, you have none, which justifies why you would support a candidate who intends on working endlessly to ensure that wealth flows back into the hands of the top one percent by creating even more benefits for America’s most profitable corporations, so that the rich can get richer and you can get poorer. Unfortunately, you don’t realize this because you lack the amount of reason it takes, which really isn’t much, to understand that your well-being and quality of life are not issues that exist in Trump’s political agenda. His supporters (especially  African-American, Latino, and Caucasian middle class Republicans) will have no voice. They will shrivel up like dried grapes.
  7. You think you’re participating in American patriotism, but in reality, you’re participating in American fascism.
  8. You put your blood, sweat and tears into defending the Second Amendment, and the Confederate flag is the official emblem of your social and political ideology. You may be found sitting on a lawn chair on your front porch somewhere deep in the heart of Arkansas with a rifle resting gently in one hand and the other clasping a Keystone Light.
  9. Half of your Facebook timeline is filled with false assertions and memes about how President Obama is a Muslim, a tyrant and communist, and you discredit him as a Christian because of the origin of his name. One thing is clear: you hate Obama’s monkey ass, and you’re tired of him resisting discrimination against minorities. In fact, If it were up to you, you’d annihilate all Muslims, African-Americans and Mexicans.
  10.  You’re super excited for Trump’s proposed plan to build an “imperishable” wall to tighten up state borders. It’s of high priority to both you and Trump. Plus it would bring you and your fellow Trumpers a step closer to your definition of the American dream: White Supremacy.
  11. You’re a member of a white nationalist organization, the Ku Klux Klan, or have considered joining but remain hesitant. If you do join and attend the up-coming rally on Saturday in Kentucky, your job may be in jeopardy on Monday, because even though it’s obvious that your boss Jimmy is a bit of a prejudice dick, you know damn well that he’d never go as far as affiliating himself with an extremist group like the Klan. Besides, Jimmy is voting for Ted Cruz, and while his supporters are also radical right-wing evangelicals, for the most part, they stir away from hate groups, unless they’re LGBT related.


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